Peer to Peer Magazine

The Wizardry of Leading Others and Yourself with Courage, Heart and Brains and professional goals, taking initiative and caring for ourselves. We have to lead ourselves in order to effectively lead others. A huge part of my personal self-leadership is accountability, which is defined as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.” Accountability is a way to safeguard against poor judgment, unconscious motivations and self-deception. I openly share my goals, plans and intentions with a trusted group of other leaders and solicit their feedback. Others invested in my success will not accept excuses and ultimately will not allow me to fail. They speak the truth even if it is not what I want to hear. Being authentic and owning our shortcomings and failures builds trust and open communication. Authentic leaders openly share their intentions. Indeed, sharing with a trusted group can help us keep the tendencies of the dark side in check. Every leader needs people who are invested enough in their success to speak the truth and to motivate them to strive for personal and professional growth. Self-accountability can also come from a commitment to self-awareness as achieved through disciplines such as solo retreats, journaling and daily quiet time set aside for planning and reflection. Consistent meetings with a mentor is another effective accountability strategy. It’s important to note that successful leaders not only have a mentor, but they also mentor others. Growth is found not only in exhibiting the disciplines and accountability required to grow, but also in giving of ourselves to others. many leaders falsely believe their authority will compel for our actions. The leadership crisis in America is not a crisis of competence, but a crisis of character. Trusted leaders are examples of selfless character. They do not make bad decisions willfully, and they take responsibility for mistakes. Unlike narcissists, who believe everything orbits around their leadership, trusted leaders identify with their followers by demonstrating humility and a servant’s heart. Credibility and trust are not optional if you want to be a successful leader. A common leadership myth is that if you want to get ahead, you have to be willing to put aside your values from time to time. Effective leaders know this is just not true. Warren Buffet said about leadership: “You need integrity, intelligence and energy to succeed. Integrity is totally a matter of choice — and it is habit-forming.” If your people understand you, you will get their attention. If they trust you, you will get their action. It takes courage to earn trust and to trust others. Someone said it like this: “We want leaders who are a part of us, not apart from us.” People need and respond to leaders they can trust. The second appeal leaders will utilize and people will look for involves the emotions. • Emotional Appeal — “Do you care?” (This is heart.) One of the most profound and most frequently quoted principles about influence is, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” If you want to be esteemed as a leader, people need to know that you really do care about them. Trusted leaders invest in the lives of their followers. One way to ensure people know you care is to be friendly. others to follow The reality is we ultimately follow those that we respect and those we trust. Respect and trust are the result of a variety of appeals leaders make that tap into our belief systems. The first appeal deals with issues of trust and transparency. • Ethical Appeal — “Can I trust you?” (This is courage.) People want to know, “Can I trust you? What are you really like? Is what I see what I get?” For some of us, when we hear words like character and integrity, we actually think they mean something else, like “perfection,” or someone with no faults. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. People of high integrity make mistakes, too, but they are simply honest about their mistakes. In order to earn trust, we have to own our mistakes. Nothing ruins credibility faster than dishonesty and not taking responsibility By friendly, I mean it in the sense of definitions like “expressing a liking for another person” or “communicating welcome” or “expressing a generally positive vibe.” Friendly messages convey “I enjoy your company” or “I am happy to see you” or simply “I’m open to your being here.” When you are friendly, others want to be with you and they want you to succeed. Another way to ensure people know you care is to connect with them in a relevant way. Relevant connection is your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants and needs. If you can accomplish this type of connection, people will feel more valued and validated. Showing and exercising empathy with your followers demonstrates you care. Empathy is your ability to recognize, acknowledge and experience other people’s feelings. When you show someone empathy you assure them not only that you care but that you also understand them. You can be an empathetic leader by walking in someone’s shoes for a day and truly exploring their concerns or complaints from their perspective. Peer to Peer the quarterly magazine of ILTA 49

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